I am fear.

The fear that you hide when you face a new challenge,

when you take a new step into the complicated,

unadulterated,

overrated,

suffocating thing we call life.

I am the fear in your mama’s eyes when you’re ripped from her arms.

And what can you say, a girl of 8, who has no clue and no voice to cry out with?

Tell them that she did you no harm.

It was all the man who touched you,

Who violated,

Desecrated,

And wronged you.

And you did not know what that wrong was until they had to educate you.

They had to force you to grow.

I am the fear of losing a love that hurts.

Wanting to stay by his side despite the needles in your heart.

Craving for him to be your prince.

But knowing that his temporary injection of love is just

Inflicting your mind with irrational thoughts,

Nerve-wracking,

Poisoning your heart with whom you are really trusting.

You want to believe in him.

But the reality,

Undeniably,

Incontestably,

Is that you deserve better.

I am the fear to change.

The fear to accept yourself for who you are,

To give yourself the confidence you need to change.

The fear to take that leap into the unknown,

just so you can know yourself a little more.

I am the fear, because I had the fear…

To be me.