She was new

Different

The strange feeling in the pit of my stomach

I’ll never forget

But how could I let myself fall for someone

That no one would understand

So I let myself write it all down

I let every emotion loose on that flimsy piece of college-ruled paper

And I try my best to forget.

She was poison

But of course I didn’t know it

My mind was tricked into believing

Believing she was the air I needed to breathe

Thinking if she were gone

I would be too

So I let myself write it all down

I write for hours about her hair, her eyes, her smile, and her laugh

And I try my best to forget

Her poison seeps through me

Through my brain, my heart and my veins

I’m not myself

This isn’t me

How did I let years go by in this prison?

How could I let myself be fooled?

Never mind that.

I will write.

For an hour and half

My mind no longer thinks of the complications of my world

Instead I seep into a new world

A better world

Every ounce of my soul is poured onto a thirteen-inch computer screen

For that hour and thirty minutes

My heart is content

My mind is soft

And I am ok.

Everything is ok.