Falling Leaves

Mon, 07/15/2013 - 15:55 -- lizysd

          Your existence is the speck of light which illuminates my darkness. I am lost when I can’t see you. My heart craves to be satisfied by the appearance of your face, body and soul. When you are not here, I am in deep despair. You make me feel things, which even I cannot control. This inner feeling, which you caused upon me, leaves me in confusion with my sanity. I ask myself, how one can be the cause of so much harm on another. Therefore, I should say good-bye. Even though it shall go unanswered; I will not linger for the answer. As my heart falls, you are nowhere to catch it. One day you are here, and the next you are missing. My body shakes in silence. My eyes wander to find your gaze. However, you are not here, you left like the cold breeze of October. My heart suffocates under the pile of leaves you left behind. You left too, unanswered, yet not wanting to hear an answer.


          My lips begin to shrivel with the increasing cold of the October winds. My light has been eradicated, and my eyes are blind with complete darkness. I walk right, yet I end up walking left. The sense of direction I once had is now in questioned. The life I once had is nowhere to be found. I fell first, yet I am still on the ground. Bruised and scrape, I still appear to be. I thought I was strong, and could leave just on my own. However, I was just too naive. I need strength. Where is my rock, which was once planted to my feet? I walk forward, yet I wander hoping to meet you mistakenly. I do not even have to look, because I know when you are near. Your presence is imprinted on my heart. Even when my heart has fallen and is put back to pieces; your one space will be forever intact, because you left an inerasable scar on my heart. I wish to forget, yet I fear, to lose these memories which are so sweet yet so bitter. The thought of not knowing you, brings chills down my spine. Nevertheless, I know even if I tried, I could never know. The unknown of knowing is what you left me figuring. Like a puzzle you are. One day the puzzle will fall into place, just as the leaves on the trees know when it is to fall. One falls many times in life; however, one has to learn to get up.


          Your existence has hindered my senses; therefore, I too remained lost on the ground. Waiting for my day to be pick up by something, willing to lend a helping hand. What it is, I do not know. Who it is, one will see. Yet all I know, I hope it is you, yet my conscience tells me it is not so. My heart is confused; therefore, I cannot hear it speak. I am deaf to my own emotions. I am loss when I am known. I continue to seek, what is gone. Oh lord, help my miserable young soul.


Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741