Potassium Hydroxide
teaches Chemistry.
Hey, Potassium Hydroxide:
You are known to every student
for being less than prudent
when it comes to the fire alarm.
On the lab tables you light
chemical fires to impress, why
are you always so surprised
when the alarm goes off? Once, we
had three drills in a day, one because
it was scheduled, but the other two
only happened because of you.
Though you may be an idiot,
you were the first to accuse me
of not trying my best in school.
It's true. But I play by my rules.
There is no point in using four
words when two will suffice.

You know I'm smart
but I don't act the part.
Hey teachers:
I read my books in class
because
your work is half-assed.

The Hammer
teaches AP Composition.
Hey, Hammer:
Whenever you assign an essay,
you say it is due the next day.
I turn my essays in on time,
it's my best work considering
I had one afternoon to write
and had to stay up all night
just to finish it. C-minus?
You say our work is trash
in front of the whole class.
You'll have to respect us
before we respect you. And
in the poetry unit, you tell us
we are not allowed to rhyme.
Oh please, this is my time
and you are not God's gift
to the English Department.

You know I'm smart
but I don't look the part.
Hey teachers:
I'm tired all the time
because
of homework you assign.

Mr President
teaches US History.
Hey, Mr President:
If you knew the real reason kids
transfer to your class, you'd rid
yourself of it. You're the easy
teacher, the doormat, all because
you show YouTube videos galore
just so that we won't be bored
and also photo filled power-points
that have nothing to do with class.
I don't really mind, it's all okay,
because I am still getting A's.
You regale the class with stories
and as intellectually stimulating
as they may be, I grow weary
of your conspiracy theories.
Surely you have  better things
to do than waste our time.

You know I'm smart
but I don't seem the part.
Hey teachers:
You are not reaching us
because
you are not teaching us.