And if it's painful we must bury it within ourselves.
We must have guns at the ready, aimed at ourselves, just in case our emotions slip out. Because that is the way the world works, isn't it? We put our masks on so that others cannot see us. Because pain and raw emotion is weakness, and the weak cannot survive in a place like this. So we play an endless game of hide and seek. Lock up our feelings and throw away the key. That is how we were trained to be. From a very young age we were taught that if you were yourself, you would be targeted. To remove the bullseye from our backs, we remove our hearts. Yet this plan can only work for so long before the build-up inside combusts. Then the walls you spent your life creating, brick by brick, come crashing down. You either hold this mess inside and slowly break down day by day until there is nothing left of you, or you release it all and hope the vultures do not swoop in. It is a cruel world and we've hardened our hearts against it. However, the world would not be this way if it did not contain us. We began the cruelty. We are cold blooded and vicious and what for? There is no war to be won. The only war being waged is between our souls and our mindsets. Because someone once told us it is wrong to feel, and we believed them.
Now we no longer believe in ourselves.