Everything Comes Full Circle

Mon, 05/22/2017 - 12:57 -- Moni1x

I felt my dreams die. Felt the tape on my mouth and hands tied, I couldn't fight to stop it. Just watch it. Everything dropped from a rope. At the drop of a dime, I lost all hope. Now telling white lies that I'll be fine, No way out of this dark abyss. Depression seems to be my only friend. The only consistent presence I feel. In such a small space, I have no room to heal. Even if it was possible. If what seems to be impossible was possible, If I could push these caving walls back, And see light through the cracks, Would I even be strong enough to do so? If I could even remember what happiness feels like, See it in the distance, Would I even extend my arm to grab it? Having it feels nice. But having it syphoned out of you until you're as cold as ice, Feeling it leave you; And it will leave you Little by little, Never gets easier. But the room always seems to get darker. The sun shines too bright. And the bed always gets softer. The destruction of a storm is somehow comforting. Maybe in hopes that the rain will wash me clean as it passes, And I can start anew. But it's all just a ruse. So why not end it all? Why keep suffering? Maybe because all I said before wasn't really me at all. Maybe the small voice in the back of my head won't let me give up, Because she wants to live. So naive, always seeing the good. Yelling at me that she can see a light, A future. People that would be lost without me. Telling me to be realistic. That no, happiness may not last forever, But neither does sadness. Everything comes full circle she says. She is the mustard seed of hope That finds me when I need it most. That wills me to get up and go. One day maybe, I'll listen.

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