Dear you,

 

I'm sorry.

 

Sorry for those nights wide awake

that caused mornings too difficult to wake up to.

 

Sorry for silence in the showers,

suffocating under the sheets,

tripping over trembling knees,

for looking away.

 

I'm sorry for the razorblade.

 

I'm sorry for the gasoline, the rubble,

and everything inbetween.

 

I'm sorry I treated you as if you were

a stranger

when you were really all I knew.

 

I'm sorry I should've done better.

I should've treated you better.

I was too afraid.

but next time we wont be so afraid.

 

Next time, we will laugh more,

and we will smile more and we will

live and be alive and love and be loved

and next time I'll be better.

 

Next time will be better.

 

Next time we'll be better.

 

Next time will be.

 

Next time we won't be so afraid.

 

I promise.

 

Love always,

Future you.