Every Time Someone Asks if I'm Okay I Tell Then I'm Fine
The word fine is just a condition to convince yourself that you’re going to be
okay
I guess fine is just a surgeon working on my
spine
after being hit by a
crowbar
I guess fine is the word that I say to convince
myself
rather than to convince the person I’m saying fine to
I guess fine is a smile on my face while my wrists are crying to bleed
fine is
laying in bed listening to the laughter in the living room
fine is the smell of
alcohol
on my father’s breath
fine is every call my mom gets about work
fine is every sick joke that’s punch line is a punch in my face
fine is the dreams I have about leaving this place
I guess fine is the razor sitting on my dresser waiting to be used
fine is the 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 pills down my throat
I guess fine is the shotgun I know that my father has underneath his bed
fine is “I understand what you go through”
I guess fine is just
fine
I guess
fine means that I’m breathing so I guess I’m
fine
fine can be replaced by words like okay and good and alright
So I’m okay
I’m good
I’m alright
But really fine means help
it means I really want to die
fine means I picked up the razor last night and I put it back down
fine is every ghost in my closet
it is please sit down
get out of my face
fine is OMG Deja you’re
fine stop acting
Fine means bury me 6 feet under ground
fine is my plea
it means I’m struggling
fine means I'm not
fine it means help
fine means help
it means help
fine means I been down this road before and I know how
many time I have to cut my leg in order to be truly
fine
Fine is my writing this poem when I’m
not fine and then performing it when I
am so I guess what I’m trying to say is
I’m fine