Events Yet To Come
did you know that my heart beats three times faster when I think about whatever’s coming next?
that I am so nervous that I can hardly breathe?
did you know that the future scares me so much that sometimes I cry myself to sleep?
no
no you didn’t know
because you do not see
you do not see behind the mask
the girl who’s scared, trying to stay in a moment that simply cannot last
you do not see that what scares me the most is losing you
my family
my friends
myself
I want to stay me, but what happens when being myself is no longer enough?
what happens when the pressure becomes too much and the dam bursts?
what happens when…
what happens when I stop worrying and let myself smile?
what happens when I laugh for the first time in months?
what happens when the fear of rejection falls away because I know that I am loved?
what happens when the world is no longer cold, but beautiful
what happens when I stop worrying about what is coming next?
Life.