there was a small epiphany expanding in my chestr

it was rotting slowly but it is now reborn

 

it began gradually at a speed, in ripples and then waves

and it swirled in my ribs, poured down to the pit of

my stomach and my hips and my toes

a blooming realization

 

i am more than what i have done to myself.

 

i am more than the discoloration

all along my succulent thighs and poor wrists and plump belly

(my epiphany is boiling at this point)

i do not exist to feel nothing

i exist because i am the feeling

 

here's what i plan to feel like:

 

i plan to feel like your first kiss

crisp leaves, cold lemonade and your favorite blanket

your mother's hug when you were four

and the smell of rain in your hair

the warmth from your lover's palm

and the sweet breath of a baby

 

i am more than that dark corner 

(my epiphany is finally in my throat)

my window is open and the air is clean

my imperfections are nothing more, i am a bird

and my wings are healing bone by bone

 

the nights where i stood along

holding my insides with sweaty palms

i breathe them in and recycle them

 

my epiphany is here

i am a new person by the sunrise