Entry 7

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 01:47 -- Mungo18

I asked you

for this discussion

i asked you

to learn

to understand

why

damn you for not being punctual 

 

tick

tock

 

Okay

here I am

who are you?

 

who am i?

 

Yes

 

I am you!

 

What do you name yourself?

 

call me Id

 

Freudian intro.

pleasant

but redundant

 

But accurate

to our discussion

my questions

and my answers

 

Then. 

That logic means.

i am greedy

 

greedy to a point

we both want

everyone wants

 

That's obvious

but the means

the practice

to get what i want

i desire it differently

 

sex 

money

it's basic vices

no one is oddly different 

from how they want it

the means they which to get it


But my means are the worst

dispicable

immoral

monstorous

 

I am the incarmation of that monstrousity

this monstorusity being the human condition

the simple nature of life

 

but i shouldn't want it

 

that's why i exist out of logic

logic of there being more

more to gain

to have more of what you want

consistent

 

yet, even then, thinking of it

my greedy, glutonous

thoughts

the way i want it

i shouldn't think of it

 

we are but human

simple

it's desires

desires you have surpressed

guilt from thought

should not be any guilt from thought

you held back

you allowed yourselves to have control

 

why did i?

i could've have snapped

i could've been that person

on the news

the new prisioner

the new criminal

 

but you didn't

 

i think like one

 

it's not enough

to feel accomplished that you didn't

it's not enough?

 

it's enough for me

 

why is that?

because it is wrong

the acts are wrong

thinking then must be wrong?

having an idea of the wanting to do the act is wrong?

 

it's the fear

the thought provokes the reality

 

it is our decision

so far

you have proven control

 

damn being in control

i hate feeling guilt

alone

fuck 

it's irritating

it's hatred of myself

 

then are we doomed?

trapped?

 

what do you think?

 

don't hate yourself

you dedicate to being better

to be improving

to help others

to want to value others

 

But i still

we still

hurt for wanting to think less than

cause we are scared

 

maybe the idea is that our core

proves to be a blessing

blessing to be a humanitarian

or try

or see value

in others

to see that everyone is worth while

everyone is deserved a sense of love

 

but a curse

because of fearing

to become less than

less than nothing

 

 

 

 

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