The Empty House

The Empty House….

Obstacles, tackles….. with every paint brush of spackle…..

 feeling the walls of my every heart break… it falls…

Falling hard sometimes,

Falling… strong into the dust of this empty building, I’m trying to renovate

 just like I attempt to renovate my fragments of my existence.

Can anyone hear my cries in the distance

 or is it just as always assumed it’s the creaking of these old walls…..

Oh how these halls… hide so much history, or is it just histeria.

I’m picking up the shattered scraps of my life,

the pieces of broken tiles….. represent each crack that split me farther, farther into ruins, farther into the dark empty vacancy of my life.

This empty dwelling, my empty dwelling inside…… void of significance… void of love…

void of family support.

Oh how they retort,

you’ll be fine, just sip a little wine,

its easy, hide behind it all,

then you’ll have all.

But that’s not the answer….

its just their easy indifferent cop out.

The thought…. just makes me even more queasy.

I’m heaving inside, but I won’t give up…..no I ..won’t die…

I stomp out those suggestions for they’re leaving me with more questions..

 why do they avoid, they lie…

 leave me with a deeper void, while they laugh at me on the sly..

Weakened by the continuous rejection of those who society believes are our support system,

 like these weakened support beams of this room I now stand…

weathered through time, weathered and beaten and disfigured by abuse and neglect….

People occupy…. but they always leave a vacancy sign.

 Never staying long enough to invest of themselves…. they leave only empty shelves.

Dinner plates left upon a set table,

 Abandoned… empty untouched…. collecting dust… as if awaiting for someone to come through those gates. 

Yet, vines grow across those rot-iron states. 

Such as expected…. Neglected

too covered with the dirt of time, for anyone to view their splendor. 

Who would happen upon them now?

Heavy curtains drawn closed, never letting in light…what a plight.

Darkness… cobwebsentangling every spare inch of and niche,

 enclosing secrets beyond their spread

dare I sweep away what has caused me to weep. 

This is my story, forgotten,

Abandoned, neglected

just like this vintage building.

Once in its prime,

beautiful pristine, but in time…

mistreated, forgotten for its purpose it was created.

Now, I sift through its rubble,

seeing how trouble, these walls have seen,

way too much,

aging before its time,

no one wanting to spend one dime,

 to keep its glory, to keep it from aging prematurely.

Its aged just like the scars of yesterday,

shown over its face,

darkness like the circles

and premature wrinkles…. encircle my eyes and my brow.

we are the same,

Somehow,

life’s treated us unkindly,

and we lacked the ability to stop them blindly,

crushing us,

one brick,

one nail at a time,

till only a small resemblance, of what…. And…… whom.. we once were remains. 

No we are never the same,

after being torn down, inch by inch…

by the indifference and insensitivities of those who’d use us for their gain and purpose,

never replenishing, never refilling our cup

 never giving back power… energy. 

Say what’s up? 

Just like this old house,

everyone expect me to cower in the shadows, like a little mouse,

to squeak by… taking only scraps they’ve dropped into my life. 

When do I fight back?

They attack my very existence,

never giving me a second glance,  

instead they’d gladly dance on my grave….and save from giving a dam,

Well today… may we rise up from the dust,

renovation is the only salvation.

Rewrite my own destiny,

walk another path,

strip away the tarnish… and tattered papered walls to my heart,

 rip them down.. resurface, regeneration of my being.

 Every stroke of this paint brush,

 covering the scars of struggles and life.

I spread the spackle over holes, and cover the empty voids….

 burying pasts…. hoping these sad memories……………… never last.

This old house….. her and I……………………we are the same

 renewed,

reborn,

or shall we remain torn????

 

 

 

 

Guide that inspired this poem: 

Comments

savigirl14

Wow this poem is very powerful. Amazing use of words. Please read my poems and tell me what you think.

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