It hasn't always been easy.
You are the one that was supposed to teach me.
You are my example, who I look up to.
But I look up to all the wrong things.
Everything you have done, I'll do the opposite.
Every goal I have leads to a path heading upwards.
I can't get pulled down.
I WON'T get held down.
I've grown, I've changed, I've learned.
I've learned the difference of right from wrong.
How could I not have, I've seen only the wrong.
I just wish there could have been more rights.
That I could have made my own mistakes, not learned from yours.
The sorrys, the promises, the hopes.
Heard too many, had too many, I know now.
Don't believe until you see.
Don't trust until it happens.
The cheating. The lies. Led to caution.
Second guessing, no trust, paranoia.
The smoking. The addiction. Led to disgust.
Hurt, the wonder of why I'm not good enough.
The gambling. The late nights. Led to abandon.
Constant lonely nights, deprivation, worry.
All of it led to darkness. To depression. To a path downward.
The old me, my downfalls, my weakness.
Thoughts, pain, questions, tears.
Wanting an end, a conclusion.
Wanting change, acceptance, love.
All up to me.
My job, my choice, my opportunity.
To switch paths.
Pain to positivity.
Questions to answers.
Tears to smiles and laughs.
All thoughts, now thoughts of positivity.
Seeing the good in the bad, the peculiar in the general.
Seeing value in myself.
I'm not a kid anymore, I am no longer shaped by you.
What I am, is stronger.
But still not because of you, because of myself.
The choices I've made. The growth I've gone through.
It hasn't always been easy.
I just chose to make it that way.