Drowning

I was drowning and I called out for you, but you were nowhere to be found. The waves battered me again and again desperately trying to keep my lungs from reaching the air. All the words that they said became weights around my ankle pulling me deeper and deeper. I struggled to get free, to breathe, but I just kept sinking. The water became dark and cold and I felt my last ounce of hope escape my body. The weights on my feet outgrew my strength to go on and I disappeared forever beneath the waves. My chest felt like a fire had ignited inside me. My head felt like a million nails were being pounded through my skull. My veins screamed for air and my body began to give up the way my mind had years earlier. I saw all the moments I’d forgotten in life and all the moments I wish I would have forgotten. Finally, after I had seen all I needed to see I expired and my soul joined the ocean of other souls as my body became no more than an empty vessel. All I needed was for you to give me a hand and pull me to the dry ground you'd been standing on or to give me the strength to remove the weights. Instead, you stood by and watched me in agony until my eyes had shut and my heart stopped beating. There was a time when I thought I understood love, but now I realize all I saw was a lie and all I felt was anguish in the shape of bliss.

This poem is about: 
Me

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