she makes me so -

 

(you see, i met her on the caravan
down toward an unabridged sea.
we were both swathed in blue skies

 

and amused ourselves with dresses -
shallow trinkets, invites for tea.
you see, i bit back the blood-like

 

taste of loneliness. i cut my veins
and pretended it made me free.
i grew flowers of discontent

 

deep in my ribs and ripped apart
my heart like leaves from a tree.
i made do with the cards life

 

assigned me, pressed against
half moon eyes and broken
spines. you see, i was riddled

 

with illness, drifting through
unknown dark waters readily,
so i held on to her wrists

 

before i drowned. now, i still
write to myself sometimes,
yelling at blue skies for being

 

so blue. i have always
looked for the thing that
would've dragged me out of

 

my misery. i couldn't cry,
fumbling through the forest
of misplaced tirades and i

 

grew smaller with each and
every shadowed sight. i was
so, so alone and so, so afraid

 

of looking at myself in the
mirror. i, sometimes,
got nightmares from my own

 

reflection. it felt like i
was never meant to be me.
i wished, those days, for

 

the ocean to take me gladly.
for sleep to come quickly
and to overcome me suddenly.

 

but then, you see, i met her
on a caravan down toward an
unabridged sea. we were both

 

swathed in blue skies and
amused ourselves with dresses -
shallow trinkets, invites for tea.

 

you see, i bit back the
blood-like taste of loneliness
for her. i cut my veins

 

to be free, but it only
made me bleed. you see,
she makes me so - )

 

happy.