Double Heartbreak

When I was a child, I fell in love

I wish it was something I could be proud of

It felt real to the core

But now it feels like a sad chore

Having someone to talk to

About the shit that's inside my head like a zoo

It felt special

But I became the devil

My body wasn't ready for it

It decided enough was enough

So I became a snake that bit

I bit into his heart

And broke it apart

He almost died

Definite internal death, almost real death

Because I refused to be his bride

I got so caught up in scaring away the monsters in my life

I got blinded to the fact that I became a sharp knife

I became just like them

The monsters I was afraid of

So now I am to blame

To any kids reading, I hope you don't end up bleeding because of a broken heart

Bleeding emotionally out of grief, or physically from depression

Because what I've caused is the opposite of a great start

And I am still that little 12-year-old girl

The one who is unloveable and unloving

That one that makes everyone want to hurl

Who broke her life before it even began

By causing heartbreak just like every other bitchy girl does

Breaking someone else made me MORE light-hearted than a bad man

(Still a work in progress, I'm not done yet)

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