There are days when I feel
That no one simply cares.
Perhaps if I were to die their lives would be on pause.
For a moment,
And maybe, just maybe they would grieve
The loss of an innocent soul
Or perhaps they would be glad
To have rid this world of
A Tortured person
You see if I were to die
Tomorrow or today
It wouldn't matter for long
Their lives would just go on.
You see at night I can't sleep
Because of the shadows that haunt me,
The voices that taunt me
They never leave my side
Taking me on this emotional roller coaster ride
Without so much as an argument to contend
That leaves me burned out in the end.
I'm all alone again
Just as I was yesterday and before then
I'm counting the seconds that tick past
As though they would be my last.
And when tomorrow starts without me
And I won't be there to see
If the sun should rise,
Will you be there for me?
Will you watch the dawn break
By the lake?
Will you remember my favorite songs?
And sing along to them.
Will you tell someone stories?
Of who I used to be.
Will you come visit me in my grave?
Because you never did while I was still around.
You waited a day too late,
And now I’m buried beneath the ground.
Will you think of all the things?
We never got to say.
How we never got to have that conversation,
And for the rest of your life
will you wonder why?
I never got up to say good bye.
Will you wish you could turn back time?
To somehow make me understand
Just how much I meant to you.
You see a part of me is so desperate to know
That if I had died
Will anyone have cried?
Will your heart be broken?
In the same places mine is
Will you feel the loneliness?
I felt or the sadness,
That dwelt in between
The cracks in my walls.
I just want to know
If I ever truly meant something
To anyone at all.