Depression

People who has never dealt with depression ,think it's just sad or being  in a bad mood
It affects you mentally physically and emotionally that's not something that you choose
How can one overcome the hurt the pain the anger
Depression makes everyday living hard to manage.
Everything becomes dark and you feel so numb inside
Often thoughts of should I live or should I die.
What's my purpose and why am I really here
Thoughts of being alone is one of my greatest fears.
Depression makes you feel like you're nothing or not worthy
To sit back and wonder was it worth my mom giving birth.
Depression can be your greatest enemy making you hate self
Not fully understanding am I a curse or a blessing.
At the end of the day who can you turn too
The ones that say they love you are the ones the really hate you
Depression is not something that just happens overnight
It comes from a series of events that has happened in your life.
Depression can make you feel down, happy, lonely, or sad
It's a very serious illness you wish you never had.
Life has a way of getting the best of you
In a cold dark lonely world with no one turn to.
Fighting,cursing, yelling daily
That's what life has become lately 
Surpressing your most enter thoughts and feelings to keep others from judging you
In the end No matter how hard you try you always loose.
Fighting this battle of depression daily
Wondering am I still heaven bound lately.
What will it take for others to understand my pain
Making it hard to focus, concentrate or maintain.
At what point in life will it end
Shattered broken pieces of your heart that you can never mend.
All your life you put others first
Feeling like you're nothing but a curse.
Molested by those who swear they love you
 in all honesty they are the ones who really hurt you.
You cant love freely because of the dark heart you hold
Wondering when your depression got out of control.
When you try to be humble others think you're gullible
Never grasping the concept of what it means to be loveable.
I cant eat, cant think cant sleep
Depression took over when my mom left me.
Has my marriage run its course
Even my husband look at me as a joke.
Not looking for praise from man but praise from god
Asking him for deliverance from the dark heart you hold.
You can over come depression but when and how
Thinking my life would be different but its started as a child.
Depression is sin and can often be over looked
Thoughts of suicide because its seems you have nothing to loose.
tlc 12/2019

This poem is about: 
Me

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If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741