What is the definition of one's self?
Is it the pressure of what society says that individual should be?
Is it what the family says that individual should do?
Is it the measurement of accomplishments and achievements one has completed?
Who am I?
I have asked myself this question many times in the past.
I have been asked this question by others.
At first I struggled with the identity of myself
Sitting alone for hours
Analyzing personal experiences one after another
Observing my actions, my responses
Establishing slowly who I may be
These are the constant themes that are integrated into each memory
Light hearted laughter
Jokes used as an escape route
These are more constants
Comforting others is my gift
I am the one always sought after for advice and comfort
These are the most apparent constants.
Those I care about don't always care back
My heart is placed last
Their happiness is my only goal.
I allow myself to be placed last
I allow myself to be placed in the same hurtful situations
I allow myself to be hurt
I allow this just to spare those I care about
Those who I thought cared about me
Each time I am proven wrong
I allow it to happen again and again
I am an optimist
I am strong
I am compassionate
I am here for others
I am self-destructive
I am who I was made to be
This is my definition.