The Defeat Of My Circumstances.

As he slammed the door in my face i remembered what rejection tasted like ,

It was never sweet when he mistook me for her but it seems i accpeted it

And now that ive built up the courage to speak up

their is no mercy in his scream and indefinate power within his fist as he threatens to break my face

Mama tried to warn me to "just be quiet " but my silence had become way to bitter just to sit in my 

mouth as if my tounge needed company.

"BE GRATEFUL" are the two words she love to say the most , these days its just code word for 

"I really dont know what to tell you"

my lips began to quiver as i see the expresion on your face change after i exclaim "you hurt me"

Growing up i knew life would be hard and my heart would be broken because im still easily mistaken for

 the split image of me that i never want to be 

The mask that i had place upon my face to look happy had gotten way to comfotable sitting their

accepting all of the happy people that greet 

Im exausted of running from my fear of you so , I faced it

And it became easy for me to speak over your screams because i could no longer let you

control my life just like you controled the switch that determined my mood for the day

And I heard you say "LOOK AT ME WHEN IM TALKING TO YOU!"  my stomach turned as if i had a bad case of the stomach flu, 

but i refused to let you win and i just shook my head and thought about how i was gonna show you what you missed out on you in the future , and make you regret that you walked out on me 

you have a heart of ash

And the ego of a teenaged  boy whos finally talked to the girl hes been stalking all year 

And last but not least you are so great at being the father i never asked for .



This poem is about: 
My family


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