Scared I peek over the railing.
Night’s cloak seems to sheath his figure from other eyes.
Am I the only one seeing him?
Do I need to do this again?
His vacant eyes glare through demanding entrance.
Full of fear I drop to the floor panicking.
My heart beat racing at the impatient knock.
What have I done to deserve him here so soon?
I’m still so young,
How can I need to be gone in my youth?
I’ve never done anything so wrong that I need to be punished.
At least not punished by the universe.
I peek over the railing again and he’s gone.
I breathe a sigh of relief and turn around.
He’s there staring at me.
My sigh of relief becomes a sharp intake of breath.
His eyes are frightening glaring into mine.
No, Not yet… I havn’t…
I’m fighting his stare.
I can’t go yet.
I havn’t told him how I truly feel.
I havn’t told her what she means to me,
I don’t even get to say good-bye?
No. I will not go this way.
Legs shaking I stand up,
We’re doing this my way.
I gather my thoughts.
I’m not ready to die.
Not yet.
My depression will not kill me,
I won’t let it.
I look death in the eye,
His stare is ever-vacant.
It’s as though he has never felt this resistance before.
I show him my scars from dodging his brethren.
His eyes stare cold, unmoving
I shout my reasons for staying.
Silent as them all he shakes his head.
I nod.
It’s going to be yes.
I refuse to leave now.
I don’t know how it feels to be loved by him.
I know he loves me.
I know I want to love him.
She’s been by my side everyday she could
She’s my baby sis in a way,
And I can’t leave her behind.
No death I’m not leaving.
He raises his scythe,
And I stand tall.
A flash of light,
And now I hold a new scar.