He loves to come out and play everyday

Romping and causing mass disarray

Slipping between cars

Hiding in cigars

Skating on ice

Floating on dice

Gaffing his finger on the triggers of guns

Taking a bath between hamburger buns

Making that false click in your seat belt

Lighting a spark to the gasoline you smell

Heavily bouncing atop splitting branches

Guiding tornados towards open ranches

Creating tsunamis the size of a giant

Having a doctor botch up on a client

Stopping deer in the middle of the road

Putting some poison on the tongue of a toad

Pushing that candy too far down your windpipe

Causing a nurse to give you the wrong blood type

Saying “Oops,” when he drops babies

Injecting that little Chihuahua with rabies

Smiling as he watches you drown

And laughing when a shark pulls you down

Giggling and hawing and stomping his feet

When an old lady trips in the street

Goes into his castle after all of this sorrow,

And then grins while saying, “Can’t wait for tomorrow.”