Dear Tremon(t)

You said it.
You didn’t know it would hurt my feelings—
Or me, the way it did.
But nevertheless, you said it.

Words can’t express the feelings brought forth.
So much more than fury or anguish.
I felt pangs of betrayal.
Sharing the same blood wasn’t enough.

I was up there on display.
Along with all the hideous past endeavors.
As you pointed, laughed, and spat on me.
My dreaded tar-like complexion, burning me.

It took everything in me not to vomit,
As our beautiful, fair-skinned, white waitress approached.
I envied her. I avoided all eye contact.
For fear of bursting into tears, or both.

I couldn’t even glance in your direction.
And, I was more ashamed than anything.
I felt hideous; I wanted to leave.
I pondered all my past attempts to die.

How could I have been so vulnerable?
I’m in college, I’m grown, I handle my own…
And, yet, a few unkind, familiar words broke my spirit.
I was too ashamed to look up.

I thought I was finished with this shit.
I was supposed to embrace my skin.
It made me realize, there’s no such thing.
Not for someone like me.

You said it.
True, you were unaware…
Had I not known God,
You would have had my blood on your hands.

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