Dear Mom


United States
39° 26' 15.5256" N, 74° 57' 21.4128" W

It hurts to think about you
Day or night, rain or shine
I don't know what to say
I love you; I hate you
Your mistake, your love, but why?

I don't know how to think of you
Mom, stranger; friend, foe
Love; a strong word
It can't describe how I feel
I don't know what to feel
You gave me life; you gave me away
How did you feel?
Lost; forgotten but remembered

Do you think of me?
Do you love me?
Do you wish to change this mistake?
Do you miss me?
Do you want me back?
Do you feel the way I do?

I search for you; emotionally and physically
I wonder what you're like; likes, looks and all
Am I like you?
I cry; I fuse with anger; I shout with happiness
You saved me, you cursed me
Curiosity kills my heart
My family and friends, teachers and classmates
It is never enough to fill this hole in my life

You sealed yourself away; gone, lost forever
I know people like me,
Adopted, lost, wondering
But most of them are lucky
They know who their parents are
They've meet them once or twice
One or two memories to keep
Me, I have none

I hope one day I find you
Dead, alive; loved, lost
This is not a death note or love letter
This is a story of lost, confused emotion
This is the child inside me, asking "why?"


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