Dear men in my life,

 

There is so much chaos running through my body

Through my veins,

Through my mind,

Through my soul. 

Where can I go

To find true peace and happiness?

 

Love

Fear

War

Pain

Self-pity

Indecisive

Confusion

Agitation

Helpless

Discomfort

Crazy

 

All of these things brewing within me.

What should I do with all of this?

How can I stay aflot in the sea?

When all I want to do is miss

The illusions trying to catch my hands

Before I hit the waters below in a trance.

 

The fear in their eyes

It is no surprise 

The world we live in

Is going under, sunken.

 

How do I keep the crazies tamed?

How do I stay sane?

How do I find control?

How do I dig myself out of this hole?

 

I want to fix everything,

Put the world back together.

That includes you, baby

Why won't you let me?

 

You take from me 

And I allow you to.

My life will be doomed

If I do not acknowledge the snakes

Who sip their tea

And cast their eyes to the side

With no other desire than flesh

What a mess. 

 

Obesessed with the idea of love

Of you and me

Together, holding each other down

I love when you come around

It's time to watch the doves

Spread their wings free.

 

Why is it always that I find myself here?

Questioning my soul.

Stream of tears.

Ready to let go.

Just want to go home to the 

Golden Kingdom.

 

Dear Lord give me strength

To continue on.

Show me the way

Before I'm too far gone. 

 

Sincerely,

Taylor