dear little sister,
do you remember nights we curled up and watched barbie movies
and i pretended i was too old for this
but i hovered on the edge of the room anyway
because hey, sue me, I liked the stories
and it would have distracted me all the same

dear little sister,
i can’t remember when we got along well
really
but i pretend anyways
tell myself happy memories from before
ignore the rose-colored tint, the faded edges
like a deck of cards too-long handled

dear little sister,
remember sniping comments back-and-forth
warzone over chores
the laundry always took longer than it should.

dear little sister,
i can’t remember how long it took till my comments made you bleed
substitute copper for salty tears and rage and pain
till i perfected my razor-sharp edges
and coveted titanium-coated skin
you never stopped bleeding little sister

dear little sister,
when did i stop caring?
how do you keep caring?
i’m sorry little sister
i’ve turned the other cheek,
let sharp-edged comments land without return fire
but you keep firing anyways
and it doesn’t hurt me anymore
but you never stop hurting, little sister

i'm sorry, little sister.

i love you, little sister,

- B. Koch