How can someone love one that hurts them?

How can I love one that hurts me?

Why do I miss you?

Why do I want you?

Why do I love you?

You left me for nine years, then you came back and turned 

my life upside down.

 

Why did you leave me?

 

I was young, my mother  had aged while you were away.

You hurt me and left me and made me feel bad for being a vitim!

 

Why did you do that to me?

 

You don't answer my calls.

You don't read my emails.

You don't help pay for me.

You don't do anything but sit there and hide your money

yet you show off your ego and pride.

 

Why do I love you?

 

You don't show your love.

I am your fucking daughter!

I deserve your love!

 

How can I love you?

 

I shouldn't, but I do.

you have no idea how much you hurt me

yet you give me so much happiness.

I long to see you and spend time with you,

but I hate myself for letting myself temporarily forget

all the cruel things you have done to me.

I love and hate you at the same time.

 

Why do I miss you?

 

I miss you all the time, 

or maybe I just miss what I think a father should be.

Please, just be real with me.

I just want to know who you really are.

I just want you to visit me without a hidden agenda.

I just want you to say that you miss me as well,

But I know that is too much to ask of you

so I won't expect anything.

Don't worry, I still love you no matter how many times 

you have shattered my life.

 

Why do I love you?

 

It's simple, because you are still my dad,

even if you are a bastard.