Daddy Issues (A Letter to My Heavenly Father)

where were you on my 10th birthday when i got bruises instead of birthday cake

IT WAS A BLESSING IN DISGUISE HE SAID

I DONT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT ANOTHER BLESSING IN DISGUISE

why is it so hard for u to look me in my eyes

they say i was made.. in your image so they look just like yours daddy

i want to say i miss you but it's hard to miss someone that you see everyday

i thought you were supposed to be omnipresent 

all i asked was for you to answer when i called

a little girls cries shouldn't go ignored like another annoying ringtone

maybe i just have the wrong number

never thought my father would stoop so low as to change his number

where were you when i was naked on the bathroom floor drowning in my own tears?

you remember that summer you said you were going to teach me how to walk on water

YOU NEVER EVEN TAUGHT ME HOW TO SWIM DAD

i wanted to see more of you than just 8-11:30 on Sundays i needed you on the weekdays

on my weak days

iN 7 DAYS YOU CREATED A UNIVERSE BUT CANT CREATE SOME TIME FOR

me and my sister cried for you,

i mean me and my sister cry for you

if you were to ask me to die for you,

i'd nail my hands and hang for you

if you asked me to be more creative,

i'd jump from a roof and fly for you

I AM WHO I AM AND I AM A PIECE OF YOU

claimed Abraham

Issac

Jacob

i am everything good that is you father

WHY WONT YOU CLAIM ME

i remember when the kids used to make fun of me for saying you were coming back

i remember when adults told me that i was dumb for thinking you'd still love me for my sins

MAYBE THEY WERE RIGHT BECAUSE HERE I AM - 16 THINKING I AM TOO EMPTY FOR THE MAN WHO BIRTHED ME I TOO FILL THE HEAVENS AND THE EARTH JUST LIKE YOU

WHY WONT YOU CLAIM THE ME IN YOU

FATHER I NEED U

WHY CANT U HEAR MY SCREAMS

my God is a selfish God and i was made like him

SO DONT BLAME ME FOR WANTING ALL OF YOU

you know i didn't ask to be here

if i could turn back time i'd ask to be another stain left on the bedspread of our milky way

but you obviously had other plans for me

i'm not trying to test you but why was i good enough to create but too bad to attend to

i remember when i tried to stretch my arms out to you feeling like maybe if they were longer you'd love me more

i remember when i tried to speak in tongues  feeling like if i was a little more literate you'd want to listen to me

i remember when i opened your book and read till the words started to look the same

read till the line between angels and demons started to blur together

read till Jesus started reminding me of common folk

read till God started to seem familiar 

BUT I NEVER READ ENOUGH INTO YOU

I MEAN I NEVER READ ENOUGH FOR YOU

I MEAN I NEVER WAS ENOUGH FOR YOU

i'm tired of pretending to catch the holy ghost hoping to catch a glimpse of you

i'm tired of being shamed because i won't take no answer as an answer from you

IM TIRED OF BEING TOLD TO PRAY ABOUT IT BY PEOPLE WHO HAVE NEVER KNOWN WHAT ITS LIKE WHEN GOD GOT YOUR PRAYERS BLOCKED

you can call me an atheist cause i ain't afraid to say this

i know who my father is but i will not let him neglect me

I WILL NOT LET YOUR PEOPLE NEGLECT ME

I WILL NOT LET YOU NEGLECT ME

I BELIEVE IN YOU

BUT RIGHT NOW I NEED YOU TO BELIEVE IN ME TOO

i'm not dissing i just been reminiscing on the times when i called your name and all i got back was a dial tone 

a hallelujah 

a "God works on his own time"

a "wait on a God sent sign"

A YOU BETTER NOT QUESTION THE GOD WHO CREATED YOU OR IMMA 

YOU SAID YOU'D DELIVER MY ENEMIES TO MY HANDS SO I INTENTIONALLY MADE U ONE OF THEM

BUT YOU STILL WOULDN'T COME TO ME AM I WRONG FOR WANTING YOUR COMPANY 

daddy i know that you love me but please... show that you love me

 

This poem is about: 
Me
Poetry Terms Demonstrated: 

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