If the world were to end tomorrow
I’d spend my last hours with the universal language.
If I lost my hearing tomorrow
I’d spend today
Listening to Forever and Always by Parachute,
Dreaming of the house I’d live in one day
with the man I’d be proud to call my own
Turning up the Friens theme song and remembering my late-night marathons with Mom
Hearing the opening chords of All of Me and remembering my first slow dance.
If I could forget one memory today
I would forget that blue, uncomfortable chair in the dreaded doctor’s office
the raspy desperation which with I prayed:
Please say my singing voice isn’t gone forever
Please, God, help me.
If I lost my singing voice forever,
I’d be an unfinished symphony.
If I could resent one thing from my past, it would be those pesky little lumps.
Nodes, they called them.
Severing my ability to sing for eight months straight.
Thank goodness we caught it here, they said.
I cried for days.
It’s for the better, they said.
I tried to believe them.
If I could go back in time and change something,
I’d be more grateful
for those moments where I could barely sing because I was smiling too hard
for the friends I had made,
who understood what I meant when I was wiping tears away after a particularly beautiful chord
resonated throughout the room
If I could remember one thing for my entire lifetime
it would be the way I feel onstage
in the car
in the shower
in chorus class
When I’m singing,
there is no facade
the curtain is lifted
no expectations, for once
just pure confidence.
If someone were to bottle my musical experiences, the label would read “Essence of Elizabeth.”
If I could forget one feeling
it would be feeling that I’d never regain my footing
that the ground had just been ripped out under my feet.
My whole world was spinning out of control.
If you had told me twelve years ago
that black dots on five lines
would shape my future
I would have deemed you crazy.
If you asked me what one thing I could absolutely not live without,
I would choose music
without a doubt, no second thoughts.
There is something about music something raw and #unfiltered.
It has stood the test of time
helped me realize who I am
who I want to be
what I want to strive for
but most of all, when times get tough,
to remember to just keep singing
If today I were to stop singing for good
If today I were to leave music behind
If today I were to part with part of me
My soul’s epitaph would instantly be crafted.