I've let my emotions run free 

in more ways than one

but the one that truly let them breathe, 

was letting these words spill onto a page in scribbly handwriting

and finding a way to say the truth 

with a softer gaze. 

It made the harsh light, look more like a glow

the blood, look more like pink 

and it less sharpened the knife of reality that I felt 

was often held at my throat. 

It was as if the lined paper were my infinite canvas, 

the 26 letters forming words of infinite colors. 

I finally had a place to say all the words that I never had the voice to speak, 

and I challenged myself to find the string of syllables that would never dare to leave my lips, 

but maybe just my pen. 

So I didn't just write, 

but I created

making an untouchable nirvana for my mind and soul 

and more importantly, 

the pieces in my heart that always felt missing.