The first time we kissed was the first time I considered my mental sanity.

For the longest you were my religion.

You were my sun, moon, stars, my everything.

And your kiss?

Your lips were so soft and so pure..

They almost near sent me straight to the 6th floor of Belleview where I would’ve been

   found looking out the window or whatever crazy people do..

You lips were so soft..

I thought I was gonna start getting checks the 15th of every month.

Your lips drove me crazy.

And your touch..

You warmth wrapped around me like chocolate ice cream around a little girls mouth in the


It garrisoned me with such happiness that I smiled all the way home.

To be honest.

Our first kiss was so amazing I almost floated all the way across the highway,

over the railroad tracks,

and through my front door.

I never felt a hug so..

so.. perfect.

A hug that was filled with finality.

A hug that had it’s own special meaning.

A hug that meant, “Finally we’re together.”

Your arms surrounded me like the night that surrounded us

And like sugar in my mouth, I melted.

Like London bridge, I fell.

I remember the first time we held hands.

I kept looking at your hands, but you didn’t notice.

I was a toddler, and your hands were a shiny new toy.

Beautiful; waiting for me to play with and discover.

And to our surprised when I reach for you hand..

You reached back.

And to add further to my astonishment:

That day I learned that your fingers perfectly fit the spaces between mine.

At first, I thought you were holding my hand simply because I wanted you to, and you didn’t

want me upset..

But when my grip would loosen

Yours would tighten..

As if to tell me “Don’t let go.”

“I want you.”

“I need you.”

When we first held hands, you stopped my heart.

Maybe it was how your wrist slightly touched mine?

After all, the radial artery is in the wrist.

And you were already in my heart..

Yes, I trapped you deep in my heart.

So deep not even Assata Shakur could escape the prison known as my love for you.

You were so  deeply in my heart, baby.

And I don’t think I was ever in yours.

But despite that:

You still drive me crazy.

Like our first kiss

and hug

and holding of hands

you still drive me crazy


Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741