The answer to lifye was given to us at birth

Though it was never written and was not in our native tongue. 

We learned nothing from these lessons 

tucked so deeply into our subconscious that we discard it unknowingly at age five.

 

From birth, we learned to trust.

Parents rocking their children in loving arms

griped so tightly that not even death could pry you from their chilled hands.

This feeling was safe when the world was crashing

It was a soothing hand on an hot sobbing face,

and from this we learned to crawl.

 

and then, it was gone.

 

Childhood wether short lived or dragged out, we learned to dream.

 Why I fought so hard to stay awake

 when my subconscious was in the middle of creating my soul?

 

We learn that we are resilient.

 We rose to the occasion of naps after lunch and sitcom circumstances.

 We walked through obstacles like open doorways.

 We dreamed of jumping higher, running faster,

 Screaming louder!

We fell and rose with dirtier knees and a new perspective

just to keep jumping higher, running faster, and scream louder!

 

And then, we moved on.

 

As adults, we ran...or just walked with more of a purpose.

 We hurried from classes in the opposite direction 

 Sprinting from consequence like it was a killer in a slasher film.

  stopping only for paychecks, coffee, and cigarette brakes

 where a coworker greets you with a “GIRL!” And a tongue click

 

We live on fast forward only to move backwards!

 These tapes are worn, film unraveling onto the floor of shitty apartments!

 We all know the plots by hart, it plays on loop like vine but there is nothing funny!

 We are distracted and disconnected from times of jumping higher.

 Never learning that some things are just too out of reach!

 

Instead we only know to Run faster, and Scream louder.

 

 “I am a stranger to my reflection!”

 “I am an insta-imposter, a Facebook Facade!”

 “I feel like a blurred photo-bomber, in a picture of established people that are better than me!”

 “I need to be held so tightly, not even death could pry me from chilled hands!”

 “I need a familiar hand that once loved me on my hot sobbing face!”

 

We are exhausted!

 We are starving!

 We are aching!

 We are falling!

 

And then, embraced rock bottom.

 

The world is still, the floor cold and covered in bills shredded into confetti.

We learn we are not children,

but we can learn to trust that we will rise with dirtied knees and a new perspective.

 

We can jump higher, run faster, scream louder!

 

But first, we crawl.