Fear of the unknown sparks the uneasiness in man
Spontaneous gestures and feelings growing stronger and stronger as time moves slowly on a clock that seems to define one's future
"Could I be?" The cost of trust, ignorance, and bliss is this lonesome trip to the clinic
And I, I sit here in unknown territory, having never been in their position. I sit here with some hopeful annoying smile. I sit here disturbing and disrupting the atmosphere with my growing womb of hope and promise, my professional husband, and my suburban housewife life.
I know nothing-
They wait in fear. Knees are wobbling. Hands are shaking. Their numbers are called.
In pain, afflicted disabled and set aside. Stereotyped by sexuality as if they are somehow ONLY affected
How is it these people can answer "How are you today?" With positivity
And I, I watch these people still finding a reason to smile. All the while passing judgment on the other who isn't much different from them. HIPAA codes being enforced to the fullest.
Dignity is once again restored
The ones who care for them do so without noticeable prejudices
This disease acknowledges no sex, gender, age, or sexual orientation
It seeks to destroy the flesh until any trace of health diminishes
And I, what right do i have to infiltrate and notice this place that is by far the only refuge they know? What right do i have to complain or utter the words, "I understand?"
I will leave this place wondering only if the interview went well.
Not concerned if the next strain or the flu will kill me. I will leave this place and their faces will fade, and this feeling of pity and helplessness will be set behind me. Never turning back