Confessions of a Troubled Lover


United States
39° 41' 34.5876" N, 90° 11' 13.0704" W

When we first spoke
Without having seen your face
I knew I would want you and want to be yours
After talking more I fell....hard
My only hope is that you would catch me
Catch me instead of letting me hit the ground
Smashing into minuscule shards of pain
Catch me and keep me safe from harm
Hug me, kiss me
My body yearns for your touch
To relish in the soft caress of skin on skin
To bask in the intensity of your loving gaze
Feeling your warmth wash over me
Whenever we come into contact
My fears are that you'll laugh
Until your face tints red
And your veins bulge
That you'll leave
Never to speak those gentle words again
Although painful, knowing that I have almost no chance with you is strangely comforting
Because it means I can still be in your life and maybe if I'm lucky, occasionally, your thoughts as well
It shames me
That I cant even tell you
Tell you what exactly I feel when we talk
Like the fact that,
Butterflies, those timid creatures on silent wings, scared at the slightest breeze
Invade, subdue, and control me
My words and actions are guarded heavily
To the point that I'm over-anylyzing
Every thought, every move, perhaps even every breath
Making sure I dont slip up
Revealing to you my heart
Giving you the chance to jest and strike at me
Making my worst nightmare a reality
Confirming one of my fears....
That you can't or won't be with me
For lack of the feelings
Of which i've given every ounce


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