Put your money not beneath your door mat
But instead place it in your hat
and let it sit there to burn off its fat
Oh you aren't the first face to look at me like that!

Once your money is safe dont worry 'bout a thief
Because only you know where it you keep
For hours on end the neighbors search and seek
But those who honestly search your house will recieve

It will do you no good to give it to the poor man
Good! you're aware he has dirt on his on his hand
But I don't think you know your "helping" is pretend
'Cause putting more dirt on the mess makes him ring the can

Oh why would you give to some one whose already got
They hae no time to get something they've already sought
Even if they accepted they would continue to make a knot
and tie up the rest of us -with their next step they've already forgot

Apparently I see the world backwards, the colors very grim
"How can you trust a man who looks like him?"
But I am the wisest man to ever live
and its all because I have no money left to give