Colorblind

Location

You’re beautiful…for a black girl

You’re the hottest black girl I’ve ever seem

You’re so gorgeous and dark

You are independent black women

You have beautiful black skin

You’re black so I can’t see you at night

You’re black I don’t think he likes black girls

You’re black so if we get stopped by the police they’ll only search you

From adolescence these are the things I’ve been told

They’re always around the same

They’re always this ignorant

They’re always this infuriating

When I was a kid I didn’t see much color

This changed as the world around me took its eyes off the child

And focused them on the skin

When people would only see black

When people would not stop mentioning black

I was rudely shaken awake by the fact that…

I was black

Jessica was white

Hose was Mexican

Akinari was Japanese

I noticed, but I never wanted it to change me

I am black

She is white

And they are everything in between

And we will never forget it

Because we will never be allowed to forget it

Society savagely drills it in our head each day

You’re black, you’re white, Hispanic, Chinese

I know!

Why must you tell me every day?

Why is it important?

How is it ever a laughing matter?

Why can’t be love me?

Because of my skin?

I never cared about color

But as I was reminded I began to see differently

I just wanted to forget

I bathed in bleach

I hid from the sun

I scrubbed so roughly only hoping that it would peel off to reveal a layer of nothing

No color

It never did

I continued to have constantly alarms reminding me and I could never put them on snooze

You’re black. You’re black. You are black. You are only black.

And as I have grown

It is still as frustrating

I am proud of my strong heritage

We all should be

I am proud to be colored me

But I would rather be colorblind

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