Tue, 03/19/2019 - 23:32 -- VarshaB

They say God only gives us what we can handle

Which is why I never understood why this burden was placed on me

I’m weak, I’m soft-hearted, I break easily

At some point, my life started blending together

Was I awake?

Was I asleep?

Was this all a dream?

Why couldn’t I escape?

I started making a whole new persona

I would smile at all the right times

I would just live without bothering others

But something didn’t match up

I felt as if I had split myself into two

The girl who was always afraid

And the girl who simply ignored her fears

I thought that if I pushed my fears deep down, I would feel better

I wouldn't have to face the pain if I didn’t acknowledge it existed

But the deeper I pushed it, the bigger the pain grew

Until eventually it would just erupt without warning

And destroy everything in its path


One day I was staring at the sky

The clouds moved and changed shape

Unbothered by the worries of the world

I too wanted to be strong like the clouds

I wanted to change shape and fly on

Even when the wind blew particularly strong

At that moment, my worries seemed extra small compared to the sky

I wanted to live and breathe

Most of all, I wanted to stop worrying


So, I did what the clouds did

I starting taking life day by day

When the wind blew one way

I did not resist anymore

I floated freely

I floated happily

I developed a resiliency that I didn’t know was in me

And now I know that I can handle anything


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