The chronological order of my life

January 8th 2009, a beautiful baby girl is born into this world. She’s 7 pounds and 15 ounces. She’s 20 ½ inches. She is the perfect bundle of joy. Everybody loves her. Not a lot of thought was put into her name, but her mom will never let it go.

A year or 2 later, she learns to speak. She voices that she wants to be named “Moe”. For months, that is the only name she responds to. Eventually we find out it was most likely due to Moedoodle from the Doodlebops. A man.

Now she’s 5, starting in kindergarten! She never went to preschool. Her first day of kindergarten, she’s throwing a tantrum. Screaming, crying, throwing this tantrum because she doesn't want to get dressed. She can’t spend those 2 minutes. And she still struggles with that.

An hour later, the teacher, whose name has been forgotten, is doing roll call. “Moe” is struggling to respond to her name. It doesn’t feel like hers. It feels off. She still can’t shake that feeling.

1st grade, and now she's bathroom adverse. She holds it in for 3 days straight before peeing as fast as she can and then running out, often before she can even wash her hands. Everyone saw it as an annoying quirk that can be fixed with constant reminders. Maybe it meant more?

Second grade, her annoying grandma comes and visits. “Moe's” brother and grandma are talking about the future. She can’t even imagine hers. She can’t imagine anything at all. Her brother mentions how he's gonna have kids and she’s gonna become an aunt. Time stops. Her eyes well up with tears and her heart is racing. “NO I WON'T” she screams, hot tears rolling down her face, the air thick between them. Her brother and grandma start making fun of her. She jokes “I’m gonna be an uncle instead!” Everyone laughs, but she’s not laughing. Her head is pounding and her eyes are getting ready to explode out of her head.

Later that night, she can’t sleep. The moment repeats in her head, “I’m going to be an uncle.” Is that really possible? Or will she be stuck as an aunt her whole life?

4th grade, she learns what the lgbtq+ community is. She thinks, “wow! That's so cool! Could never be me though.”

The next day, she forces herself to have a crush on some random kid named Patrick.

A couple of months later, her friend, Ray, comes out as lesbian. She thinks, “Oh! Cool! Doesn’t affect me!”

A couple of more months later, Ray confesses she has a crush on someone. A girl. “Moe” has to guess who she is. She goes through all the girls in the class until she is the only one left. She makes a joke that it's herself, but Ray agrees. Ray likes “Moe”. Ray gets friendzoned.

“Moe” lies awake at night and thinks, “A girl likes me? I could never like a girl. Even though I’ve always hated men and I find my friend Abby the most gorgeous person in the world, it's just a phase! Like my mom says! ‘All women like women! That doesn't make you bi!’”

5th grade, her mom tells a story of a beautiful girl, or an attention seeking boy. A cousin, who lived as a boy for 25ish years, constantly seeking attention, tells everyone she’s a girl. She goes through medical transition and seems happier than ever. Not so attention seeking now, is it? Well “Moe’s” mom seems to think so.

Then quarantine happens, the time for self discovery. “Moe” discovers she’s a lesbian.

Then, she learns what a neopronoun is and goes down a whole progression that ends in her being transgender. This would make him straight. Eventually he finds out he likes men too, but that doesn't happen for another 2ish years.

He lies awake at night, “He, him, his. This all makes sense now!” His mental health gets better as he prepares to come out for an entire year.

March 30th 2022. Transgender visibility day. Moe comes out to his mom. To his surprise, everything goes downhill. Misgendering, deadnaming, threats of conversion therapy. Everything gets worse.


His timeline is still going. But does he want it to?


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