A Choice (An If I Stay Inspired Poem)

Location

Should I stay or should I go?

I have to make a choice

If I don’t, I’ll never know

 

Whether or not I’d enjoy my life

Whether or not I’d someday be a wife

 

But I don’t want to live without the people I love

Because I know it’ll be hard for me when push comes to shove

 

If I stay, I would have to live without my little brother, Teddy

I love him too much; I feel like I can’t, I don’t think I’m ready

 

If I stay, I would have to be without my mom and dad

This life already seems unbearable, just the thought of it makes me sad

 

But yet I don’t want to leave the people who care

Because I know they love me too so I wouldn’t dare

 

A life without me, a life without us

How can my best friend ever again trust?

 

Kim was always there for me, until the very end

Will she ever forgive me if I choose to ascend?

 

And how will my boyfriend do here on earth?

If I ever decide to go with my spiritual rebirth

 

Adam always supported me and stood by my side

It’s so hard for me to watch him cry

 

I don’t even want to think about

What he’ll do, if I died

 

And not to forget about my biggest passion

A cello between my legs and bow in my hands

Is my only fashion

 

If I leave, that passion I would have to let go

But I don’t know if I could handle that so

 

So what really happens when we die?

Do we stay here on earth or live up in the sky?

 

I’ve heard many stories but I don’t know what to believe

Because for all I know, those stories could easily deceive

 

If I wanted to stay, I wouldn’t even know how to wake up from this sleep

I guess for now I have nothing better to do than lifelessly weep

 

Now back to the question that is constantly ringing in my head

Should I go live my life or decide to be dead?

 

Was that nurse speaking the truth?

Is this decision really in my hands?

                                                                             

                                                   Hopefully, I still have my youth

But where does this life really stand?

 

Should I stay or should I go?

I have to make a choice

 

I just know in the end

Only one thing truly matters: my voice

 

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741