The Child of A Narcissist

Part 1- Mind Games

Anxiety

I have to be perfect

I have to get good grades

I have to be better than others, being compared is not an option

My mom, sister and I have to be happy, no crying, you are weak

I have to be good enough to be bragged about 

I HAVE TO BE PERFECT

Confusion 

I don't like playing five sports but Dad told me to, so I have too

I am being compared to others, why can't I just be me?

I can't question him but he can question me

Whenever we argue he buys me things to make up for it, no hugs

Why are there so many people around, yet I feel so alone

WHY

Self-Hatred

Why am I not good enough?

Why do I keep failing my Dad?

I am so stupid

I wish I had his confidence

I am weak

I am unimportant

I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH

Anger

How can he compare me to others?

Why am I stupid for getting one B?

Why are you bragging about me? 

Why can't I go play with friends?

Why do I feel so alone?

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH 

Fear

If you are not perfect there will be consequences

Yelling

Slamming

Smashing 

He is going to shut me out

FEAR IS POWER

A divorce

His world just came crashing down

He is panicked

He is losing control

He is powerless

I finally saw you for who you truly were,

A monster 

He mentally

Beat,

Battered,

Destroyed

The people I loved

And 

Me

Today I cut a cord with you

I no longer give you the power and control to rule my life

Today I give back the fear, anxiety, confusion, self-hatred and anger you bestowed upon me

I will no longer allow you to ruin my life and the lives of other people around me 

Part 2- Conquering

Understanding

This is not my fault

I do not deserve to be treated like this

I will no longer be shaped by him

I have the ability to create myself

Happiness

I have friends

I am not alone

I can laugh

I can read

I can play one sport

I can be different

Self-Love

I am strong

I am beautiful

I am confident

I love me

I fail no one

I am good enough

I will not be compared to anyone

I am powerful

I am important

Freedom

Perfection is not real

I can say what I want

I will not be punished for being me

My life is my choice

I make my own decisions

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

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