i thought i was healed

better

okay

but then i saw you were online

on the chatroom where we used to talk and i 

shattered

all over again

the way i had when you first broke me

and i screamed 

and i cried

and i felt like the little glass heart beating in my chest

had cracked open and spilled its blood 

into my tears and 

i couldnt breathe and

i closed the tab

shaking. 

and i want to tell you how sorry i am

and make sure you are okay and

fine and well and everything i thought i was but

my heart stops and i cant

and so i run away from my computer and my problems just like i did

when i tried to sit with you again at lunch because

it hurts too much to breathe

when i can imagine you

on the other end