The challenge of Life in my eyes

Wed, 07/10/2013 - 14:25 -- bash15

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I could tell my story but that would only be boring

Instead I want to tell you my challenge in life

My challenge in life is facing my hearing disability

Feeling like a burden with my pride constantly hurting

 

Growing up in the poor side of Louisville, Kentucky and Indiana

Not having that lovey dovey feeling that every other kid you see has

Not making excuses because I know I am not the only one but still my heart aches

Feel emotionless more and more only have experienced a little fun in my life time

 

Not taking my blessings for granted and always learning to hold strong to the truth

However, that was hard at times because when I did tell the truth it felt like the whole world was against me

I feel anger toward my own people who look at me as if I don't exsit as one of them

Feeling like a creature with no place to go or stay for long

 

Taking whatever resources I can find and obeying laws as a respectful young citizen of this country

I feel like it is an never ending battle of pain and misery to achieve the dream that I always dream of in an honest manner

By learning from my mistakes and paying my respect to the people who helped me

Those people are people I worked for in my job careers and school teachers

 

Like a never ending enternity of torture and stress I still choose to cling to life and fight death til my last breath

The challenge is so crazy to me mentally and physically constantly challenging my spirit and my flesh

Sin constantly in my thoughts as I fight to not give in, clinging to freedom and rightenous

Mentally I feel sick and physically I feel exhausted but if I want better I must carry forward the flag of my dream

 

Longing for comfort and my goals being achieved

Even though the real reality is that it will be a couple of years before I have that vision in front of me

Pouring out my deepest feelings is one of the hardest things I ever had to do because as a man I was taught to never express yourself just work and fight for yourself

Looking back I can tell my mistakes of not being able to express myself and make friends was a challenge that hampered my upside for years that took their toll on me until I learned what was wrong

 

Being alone in this cold world is no easy road

That is why I trust the Lord and learn to talk to people on the go in my crazy life

From crying and screaming in pain when I was getting beat up and not standing up for myself

To emerging into a man who learn to stand his ground the hard way which was through pain and tears

 

Still paying bills and learning different things about the world as I live by the seconds

Working for a living and chasing whatever opportunities come my way

Willing to stand and fight for what I believe in than let other people bring me down

Knowing that I am responsible for my future with the help that I can find and that I will not allow anyone to bring me down even if it my own family which I can say I understand but can't allow the disrespect

Knowing that my challenge of not being able to hear well is hard and trying not to be a burden to anyone and live my life to push myself for a better life is the challenge I face in all days til the end

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