Cause of Death: Tolerance

Razors rope knives guns drugs dope

Building cliff cars water electricity starve

Alcohol fire poison suffocate jump—

Pick and choose.

You pick and choose.

Choose your method of self-destruct.

There’s a lot of hate in the world,

There’s even more hate inside me.

Hating my face hating my choices hating my hair hating my body

Hating my mind hating my hands hating my bones

Hating my life

Hating me

Hating ME!

This litany of words all jumbled up inside yearning for change

Just gets lost in translation

With the “you do you” and the “same” and “mood.”

Isn’t it time we changed the way we are understood?

I said ISN’T IT TIME WE CHANGED THE WAY WE ARE UNDERSTOOD?!

Because smiles don’t make the pain disappear

Or cure my desire for an early grave.

I don’t got any patience for myself to heal

And I don’t got space for self-love and appreciation with all this tolerance around.

Tolerance for the hate I administer to myself like it’s some kind of medicine

Tolerance for coping methods in the name of self-harm

Tolerance for my death wish like it’s the only source of relief.

No.

If I want to live I can’t do it here with you “Toleraters” around

Because you and me can think of a lot of ways out

When what I really want is a way to stay in.

But since you’re everywhere I guess my death will just blend in.

This poem is about: 
Me
My country
Our world

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