Razors rope knives guns drugs dope
Building cliff cars water electricity starve
Alcohol fire poison suffocate jump—
Pick and choose.
You pick and choose.
Choose your method of self-destruct.
There’s a lot of hate in the world,
There’s even more hate inside me.
Hating my face hating my choices hating my hair hating my body
Hating my mind hating my hands hating my bones
Hating my life
This litany of words all jumbled up inside yearning for change
Just gets lost in translation
With the “you do you” and the “same” and “mood.”
Isn’t it time we changed the way we are understood?
I said ISN’T IT TIME WE CHANGED THE WAY WE ARE UNDERSTOOD?!
Because smiles don’t make the pain disappear
Or cure my desire for an early grave.
I don’t got any patience for myself to heal
And I don’t got space for self-love and appreciation with all this tolerance around.
Tolerance for the hate I administer to myself like it’s some kind of medicine
Tolerance for coping methods in the name of self-harm
Tolerance for my death wish like it’s the only source of relief.
If I want to live I can’t do it here with you “Toleraters” around
Because you and me can think of a lot of ways out
When what I really want is a way to stay in.
But since you’re everywhere I guess my death will just blend in.