You know when you love someone? And you would do virtually anything for them.
You’d give your light, your happiness, your whole existence for their well being and it’s so insanely frustrating when they don’t realize how much they really mean to you and you just want to yell in their face but that wouldn’t make a difference at all.
They don’t GET IT.
They don’t get how you breath for them.
How your heart beats for them.
How you live for them.
How you wake up and go to bed thinking of them.
How you cook your own breakfast the way they’d like hoping that if they walked in through your door, they’d smile and fall in love with you for remembering.
How you read all their favorite books and watch all their favorite movies and you start listening to music you didn’t even think you liked but because THEY love it, you love it.
And you learn the lyrics and you fall in love with the songs the albums, hoping that you’ll find some secret message in the lyrics telling you how in love with you they are.
You hope for a window into their soul through this music you never thought you’d like
You memorize the shape of their lips when they smile, and the look on their face when they’re angry or concentrating and thinking about them going through something harder than a math test rips your heart out of your chest.
And they don’t realize.
So slowly, you begin to retract.
So slowly, you begin to fade from the perfect picture you conjured in your head with him or her and it’s just them.
Just them eating their favorite breakfast
Reading their favorite books.
Watching their favorite movies.
Singing along to their weird taste in music.
Slowly you fade away from the world altogether, because no matter how many times you swore up and down that no one would take you away from yourself, you’ve allowed it to happen.
You’ve given yourself over completely to someone who has a different life, a life that you both once thought could coexist with yours.
You’re left picking up the pieces.
Trying to build a life all over again. But you don’t see the point.
Should I call him.
I called him.
He didn’t answer.
He called me.
I didn’t answer.