Relationships

Are cultivated

Relationships

Are made

Relationships

Are real

When I was young I tried killing myself

I tried three times before I gave up

The whole world hated me

My family hated me

My friends hated me

...

God...

Hated me...

I felt that there was no where to turn

The knife in my hand moved with grace and form, beautiful

It sat on my wrist for five minutes

I barely drew any blood

I was terrified to create a mess with the hate I had for myself

I hated me

I hated that the medication took away who I was 

I hated that my brain went haywire and I seized

I hated myself

There were no relationships 

There were no boys at my door

No friends asking me to come over

My family was banging on my door

That's when depression struck 

And the knife drew blood

The trickle ran down my hand 

Slowly it hit the ground

A drop of blood stained my grey carpeted floor 

The red liquid was real

The streak it left was drying

And suddenly the hate was gone

Sadness filled my eyes as the tears ran down my face

My wails so load my mother swung the door open

She stared at me while I cried

She didn't know what she did wrong

She held me while the blood continued to seep out of its wound

And I cried...

I woke up in a cold sweat

It was a dream...

I didn't pull the knife on myself

But I did seize... I was stuck with medication in my system 

It was then that I told them

I sat and cried and told them I tired to commit suicide 

I told them that I had the knife against my skin 

And how much that knife felt good as it pierced the epidermis 

Showed her the scars that I left myself 

The sadness behind her eyes shown bright

So confused

So sad fo her 13 year old daughter 

Her daughter who felt so alone that she turned to a knife as her friend

The knife that she held against her own neck 

Against her wrist

As she found the artery to cut

It was then that she realized that the relationship that was 'built' was fake

We had to start over

We needed to learn to love each other again...

Relationships 

Are Cultivated

Relationships

Are made

Relationships...

Are important...

Without them, the knife in your hand

He's your friend that says it's okay to take the life that is your own...

He says it's okay to place his blade to your skin and cut as deep as you can...

Relationships

Are built

Build them...

Before it's too late