Brother for life

 

I love to spend time with my two little brothers Derrick and Tristen

 My brothers are very goofy to be around ,even though, they act out of line at times

Hate them or love them. They are my blood

They are my heart

We play around at my grandmother’s house or even in the car, but I would never let anything or anyone come between our relationship.

Sitting in their room playing the PS2 holding the black remote controller that connects to the small square box, I sit on the unopened mattress; I watch the horse on the tv screen get shot down by the anima bread headed man in brown reddish boots.

We watch the white bunny run past in the field as it was running for its life

But I just wish that they were normal.

Normal like any other boy who didn’t have to have so many heart surgeries and  speak without his words being clustered together every time his wants to tell me something.

My Mom try not to break down and cry every time his face turn light blue when his lips start to ball up and the words can’t find its way out. I just wish he was normal

As he takes a pause between each word that comes from his mouth, he has to stop and think about is it a word that he can recognize and comprehend. Always having to use his speech strategies. Looking and watching how other kids his age could not have any issues speaking clearly and feeling some embarrassment that Derrick’s words can’t come out as clear.

  “ Derrick slow down and take your time” But he pretends not to hear me. Tristen running around the kitchen with sweat dripping from his face. “Honybun calm down fool!” Stuttering all his life was a big bump in the road for Derrick. Older kids making fun of him because wasn’t able to say “because” correctly or the most simplest and easiest words that we was taught in second grade. Not everyone was born to be perfect, have the perfect body or spoke the perfect spanish or russian. They're my brothers for life

  I can tell when he is being bullied by the kids in his class when he doesn’t say anything all day. His face is red all around the eyes but I know that he is afraid to say a word about it. How can I be able to fight his battles in as he gets older. I’m Suppose to be his superhero. Help him speak clearly without his lips being twisted up with his words. And then what about Tristen; the one who need me the most.

Funny, honest, humble, and wild Tristen is the best friend you can ever have; For example, when I come into the house from a long day of Noble, he ask me “ Did anybody get on your nervous today”

“Nope” I’ll try to say from all the long deep breathing of walking two block coming from the bus stop.” How was your day”

“ Well, I saw my ex girlfriend, London, Holding hands with Malcolm trying to make me made. I  just walk past with a smile on my face acting as if I didn’t care.” For a young boy his age, he learns a whole lot so quickly like lightning speed. Can’t tell him anything that he doesn’t already know, but has the dance skills of a 20 year old. It seems like they're all grown up; already in high school too!

He can pop and shake with a butt of J-LO. Tristen can make they frown on my face turn back into a smile wider than small pink red eraser. “ I’m hold you down tonight” is what keeps me laughing. He’s there through the good and the worst just like Derrick. They cared when I wasn’t able to come home for nearly two weeks. Always cried when they couldn’t come running up to me to give those warm smelly hugs.

I sometimes wish that I was the only child like most teenager do, but how would my life be the same without coming home to a noisy house? Who would lend me a hand when I can’t even wash my back in the shower? Not some man off the street!

But I’ll never forget the day he had to be cut open down the middle of his chest. Scared that he might not come walking slowly through the door of the house. How can I live with the fear of losing my little brother, my best friend.

When he was born, he was having complications with a leaking heart. Always having to go to the hospital making sure that it won’t get worse and lead to carrying a machine around with him. Tristen loved playing basketball, running around the house with Derrick. Despite the fact that he wasn’t suppose to, I made sure that he was hydrated every 10 to 15 minutes; Derrick packed him and Tristen a spare water bottle when he couldn’t go to the drinking fountain after an hour of  sitting in a hot classroom above a temperature of  45 degrees. How would Derrick be able to lend his little brother a hand? How would he feel if he lost his only playmate?

I can’t imagine laying on a metal table covered in soft sheets with a thick white blanket wrapped around my body. I can sense that he was uncomfortable-scared-tensed thinking to himself that something might go wrong; a small knife accidentally fallen facing downward where the sharp edge was aiming to the center of his heart.

My heart hurt from all this suffering; it’s like a leaking heart.

Who would spend the evening play Batman Lego or cops and robbers?

I’ll be devastated to lose them both. There my brothers for life. My backbone even if they are a pain. Isn’t that what brothers do? Make you want to pull all your hair out.

I love spending time with my little brothers Derrick and Tristen. Tristen can make the frown on make face turn back into a smile while Derrick sings to the top of his lungs to random songs,

Life's too- short to pass anything by and the time you do have with the ones you love. Hate them or Love them. Make the most out of it. I cherish all my great moments and the ugly moments I spend with those gremlins.

It takes me back to the good old times, June 25, 2014,  I had spent the day at my cleaning up my room and trying to get ready for work. I was getting paid that day and I wanted to do something fun with the little ones. Thinking that my whole skeleton bone was going to jump out of my body, I had to think about what would be the most funniest place to take them without them feeling bored to death. I went to go pick up my paycheck on a hot sweaty summer day and when I arrived to the office where it was. I hurried up to sign that I had received it, 400 dollars worth of hard work and saving it up so it can roll over to the next one, I went to chah it in at the near by Western Union. An hour past when I, Tristen, Derrick, and my parents got to the Nick outlet place to get some new pairs of shoes; My plan was to just spend some of my money on use three not the big ones.

Another 3 hours went by, all the days shopping was done and I was left with 200 dollars in my wallet. They both seemed happy and jumping for joy when the was able to go to school in another month to swag out their Nicks. Tristen was looking up ahead and me and Derrick was face towards the window watching the cars speed on by; Tristen was sweaty really badly and I just thought it was because the windows wasn’t let down all the way in the back, but that wasn’t it. He was just laying his head on the seat of the car and his eyes was barely open all the way; I began to feel my heart beating fast. Wait, Was it his heart that was giving out? Could this be his last moment to spend with us in this car? I didn’t want to lose what it was that we had all these years.

I called my mom’s name from the music that was blasting at a volume level of 15. She couldn’t hear me; “MOM!” Her head turned back so quickly that it could have been possible to have fallen off. “Tristen is sweaty really bad and he can’t really see anything” She got more adjusted in her seat where she could see her baby boy leaning towards my left where his upper body is my way while the waist down is on Derrick’s side. My stepfather turned the music down and we called out for his name to hear us but no answer. Instead of us going to get something to eat and go straight home afterwards, The car speeded to the near by hospital: Jerry walked in with Tristen in his arms. My leaking heart was leaking to fast: out of control. 2 hours past on then the tall blond head male doctor come over to us telling my parents that everything was fine and was just a false alarm. It was good to still bring him in because he was starting to have hot flashes because of the hot air in the back seat of the car. I wasn’t losing my mind just yet, but just being a concerned sister who cared to dearly about her brothers and their well being.

My love for them is unconditionally. They can be the brothers that you wish to get rid of but what would the world be without them. The leaking aching heart of mines would never stop and not would Tristan's; it would just be a point in time where  we would have to face the fact that this was something that he was born with and so was Derrick speech impediment. Society may not see them as the average American but I see them as the a fish in a big pond trying to  make the best for themselves.Yet, How can I make sure that they do live the life of a normal person without going through the bully.” They would never be alone and I promise that” I will never let go of their hands no matter what happens because no one could or would ever love them as much as I love them to the fullest.

This poem is about: 
My family
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