Broken Scars
There are days I miss the broken part of me
Its left an empty space where a scar once laid
My depression left but my hopeless stayed
Maybe I was always hopeless
My anxiety gets worse but anxiety doesn’t give the late night thoughts of wanting to change
It doesn’t make me brood like I used to
It just makes me paranoid and disabled
I can get out of bed now but do I really want to?
I can get out of bed now but do I really?
I search for something to fill that empty space
Something else to scar the clean flesh
Something else to damage what’s been cured
And the more I sit with myself the more I want to run away
Not away from problems but towards them
I feel like I new a new start
And the worst part is I know I can do it
I know I can leave
I have a plan
And even if it goes wrong I know I can fix it
But I know I shouldn’t
I should stick to the plan I worked so hard to make
But I don’t want to be seen
I don’t want to be known
I want to be quiet without people questioning why
I’m struggling to find my identity here
Can no one see that I’m not in pain
But I’m still dealing with so much
With myself
The only thing that hurts are the tears that burn down my face like acid