There is a reason you have trust issues,
the whole idea of trust is questionable.
How could one of the few people who are supposed to love you, not able to?
You could force the blame on yourself,
Or you could blame the God that made it happen.
Or you could blame the man who abused you in such a way.
You expected this man to love you and respect you.
You always seeked his approval with everything you did.
You trusted him and loved him despite the pain that he caused.
You overlooked every single bruise that decorated your pale skin.
You ignored every feeling that told you to run and search for help.
You let him wipe away your tears and accepted every empty apology.
Maybe, because you saw the good in every person and hoped to find his…
Maybe, because you knew that by letting him go you would never be able to heal
You let him continue to embrace you late at night and fell for his excuses.
The only reason was you were afraid of the loneliness that would lay in his wake.
The feeling you’d get deep down thinking that you messed everything up.
It wasn’t even your fault yet you blamed yourself.
You made excuses and you lied to those trying to help.
You believed you deserved this punishment for even existing.
You saw yourself as a beaten and broken mistake.
You tried to hide every scar and act like you were fine.
But this man forever broke your look on this world.
Because of him, you have trouble trusting anyone.
You push away anyone who tries to get close to you.
You flinch whenever another man raises his voice or gets too close.
You have been broken and beat in more ways than one.
You doubt everything and even though he’s gone you still are vulnerable and scared.
What you’ve been through has destroyed the idea of love.
He was supposed to love you and care for you and protect you.
He was your father; he should’ve protected you from the bullies.
The only problem was…he was the biggest bully of them all.