Breathe.
I’m coming to the end of my teenage years
And I realized that it wasn’t worth the tears
The stress, anxiety, and feelings that swarmed my mind.
I grew from your insolence and found what was worth my time.
The nights I spent with mascara running down my cheeks
Staining the white pillow cases with memories
Crying into the darkness that is my room.
I found now you only wanted me just for laughs
Wanted me for the love you could never have
Yet you managed to push that away.
You try and find that in others, and they still won’t give you what I gave.
What hurts the most is that you look at me with empty eyes
When I was the one who looked at you with stars in mine.
I watched my world go up in smoke, and all you did was feed the flame.
I sit here now reminiscing on the “love” we had
And laugh to even call it that
Because what we had was one sided.
I sit here and look back on the tears, the laughs, the kisses and savor them
Bittersweet.
I am a stronger person, a more careful and headstrong person.
But most importantly, after you stripped away bits of myself
I have healed.
I found out what real love means to me.