Breaking a Suicidal Mind


the month of may, malignant to fight, provoked my suicidal tendencies with all its might


my mouth felt arid and

my tongue went numb as I forced another pill down my throat.

the seclusive surroundings of my bedroom slowly became a blur;

dark drops of blood trickled from my arm,

slightly staining my sheets a ruddy red color.

black tears streaked down my face.

soon a slumberous hypnosis began to set in which I hoped would soon become a permanent sleep.


but I awoke.

my mind remained paralyzed in a state of sadness

stuck in an able-bodied apostle for life,

who secretly desired a fatal escape from this hurtful hellish world.


this memory became a part of the

three times I couldn’t bear my own demons,

the three times I enacted suicidal treasons.


on my own, all alone, lodged in a sad suicidal mode

I was breaking and crumbling from the inside out

how in this terrible world could I overcome my doubts?


six months later,

I climbed out of the dark

filled the void,

now I’m making my mark.


depression came over me lethargically in the night

but this is the year I can say I successfully won the fight


my desire to stop breathing

became my motive to continue achieving.

my rekindled love

transcended my sanguine need for bleeding


this year I shattered my suicidal mind to pieces

and mended it back together again

to create a new me

who I am learning to love so I can accomplish my ambitious reaches.

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